Tags: short stories

Waffling

I'm going to be able to get on the net today as they're going out for lunch but I'm still writing this on the netbook. It's partly because I like writing on the netbook and partly so I can get used to the keys. The keyboard is very different to the one I'm used to so the more writing I do the better I get. I've always been a fast typer – I have lots of practice – so I have this habit of hitting the wrong button all the time. I am getting better now, even after only writing on it properly for a couple of days, although my finger does sometimes slip so I have the wrong letter in the middle of the word. I also have this habit of hitting the letters the wrong way round so I occasionally have a space in the middle of a word or the letters in the word are the wrong way round.

James and I had another argument this morning. I guess I should be used to it by now. He's always a grumpy sod in the morning and I'm the one who drew the short straw so I have the wake him up every morning. I'm just fed up with it. I like it when he sleeps over here because it's really easy to get him out of bed. Just wave a bowl of cereal under his nose and he's awake. It's a lot more difficult on the phone, especially when he keeps falling asleep on me. When he's having a good morning, which are few and far between at the moment, he's great to get up, but when he's having a bad morning... I kind of want to tell him to get himself up, which is selfish really because I want him to see how much he relys on me. Maybe I should tell him to get himself up for a week and see what happens. He might surprise me. Our argument this morning was about him applying for jobs as he wants me to fill out an application form for him while he's working on the car (he thinks there's a petrol leak and I think he's overreacting) which I don't mind doing if  know what he wants me to say. Today I don't know what he wants me to say so I'm worried about filling it in wrong and getting him the job based on my application. He just doesn't seem to understand that and got mad at me, which was followed by him being mad at me because I said I might see him today. He somehow heard that as 'I don't think you'll be able to sort the car out' when all I meant was it might be something big so I was being realistic and saying might. Then he hung up on me. I wonder why I put up with him sometimes.

On a happier note I started a short story last night and I have plans for a few (read few as meaning about 27) more so if anyone is interested let me know because I'm going to put them under a filter. I'm not ready for the whole world to read my writing yet but if I get some good feedback I might open up a couple of the best. I was also thinking of putting my poetry up if anyone was interested in reading it.

My oracle card reading today said it would be a good idea to start up a dream journal so I may try that. I'm not very good at dream journals though. My dreams are always so very weird that I don't think there is any meaning to them. Last nights was weird but I can only really remember the end. I was in this place where they sold girls to people and I was one of the girls there. There was one guy who really liked me and he tried to save me but it didn't work out. It kind of reminded me of one of my ideas for a short story so maybe that's why I dreamed of it. Who knows? Most of my dreams involve supernatural creatures or people I've seen on telly so I can't really see how they mean anything important. Just that I read too much supernatural fantasy and watch too much telly. I have had a few dreams with James in. There is one I can still remember that involved us having a baby but that was a long time ago and I think I know where the meaning is now, looking back. I even had a couple with James in before I even met him which is kinda weird.

I'm also planning on going to the doctor's at some point soon about my knee, not that I think they're going to do anything about it. Nan said it could be a cartilage problem so I'd have to have surgery but I don't know. They'll probably just tell me to take pain killers, which don't actually work on my knee pain. Anyone have any ideas what it may be.

Just got a funny text from James. It was funny because he's obviously got it on predictive text. He said he didn't want to 'waste shoe arguing'. Now that I've written it down it's not so funny but I found it hysterical a couple of minutes ago. It's amazing what I find funny.

Meness

Today is the first day of writing LiveJournal updates on my netbook so I can put them on LiveJournal at a later date. It's kinda cool because I love my netbook (it's a shiny black Toshiba, although the shiny isn't so good as I can't keep it clean) and I don't feel like I've been using it enough for the reason it was actually bought for. So far I've spent most of my time playing solitaire rather than doing any writing at all, even though I bought it so I can write in bed while watching telly. I hate always having to turn the telly round so I can watch it while I'm sitting at the desk. It's not like I even really watch it while I'm writing anyway – it's just in the background and I pay no attention to it most of the time. The rest of the time I watch it rather than writing which isn't good. I prefer listening to music as I can listen to the words without being drawn into a storyline.

So the plan is to write some short stories based around my main novels and maybe post them here if anyone is interested. If no-one is interested I'll probably post one up anyway and see if I get any feedback, then decide whether to go on with it. I may put it under a filter so people who have no interest in reading my awful writing don't have to. Then those who are interested can be added to the filter. It might help me get somewhere with the one novel I really want to get written. If anyone is interested in reading my stories let me know. I may even have a couple done if I can't get on the net for a while. It's also possible I may have written nothing at all.

Writing is the only thing I've ever really wanted to do as a career. I've never been one of these nine to five people – I like being able to work when I feel I can and not work on the days when I'm feeling awful, especially as those days can be pretty regular at the moment. I think that James understand my need to focus on my writing for a couple of years but no-one else in my family seems to. Mum's never really told me her opinion, but then she lives in a bubble most of the time, and Nan thinks I should have some sort of job right now, which I understand, but there are some days when I don't even feel able to get dressed.

That makes me seem like I'm out for sympathy when I'm not. I've never been diagnosed with any problems so it's not as though I have a medical reason for not feeling up to doing stuff. I sometimes wonder if I have some form of depression but I spent so much time in the doctor's surgery when I was a child, mostly because I suffered from stress related rashes, that I absolutely hate going now as I always feel like I'm wasting their time. I guess that what I'm feeling now is probably due to stress so I'm just going to see what happens when I finally move into a less stressful atmosphere for good.

Of course that's unlikely to happen anytime soon. Being unemployed isn't very good when it comes to moving out. James is applying to join the RAF so hopefully something will happen with that sometime soon (he sent his medical records off a couple of weeks ago because he has an enlarged vertabrae in his neck) but then he'll probably be in training for six months as he wants to be a pilot if he gets in. Then if things work out we'll get a place together. We have lived together before so it can work even though he hates me being so untidy. I can understand that because I hate being untidy but it seems that I just can't keep my stuff tidy no matter how hard I try.

I don't think it helps that I keep buying books. I swear it's an addiction. There's just something about opening a new, or second hand, book that makes me feel happy, especially if it's a book in one of the many series' I collect. Being a part of something that isn't my life makes me feel better a lot of the time. I just hate it when the book ends. I can't tell what's worse – a cliffhanger or the end of a series. I also hate it when the story doesn't go the way I want it to. I think both of those things are part of the reason I want to write. Writing my own books will mean I can make things go the way I want them to and as the characters were created in my head their story will never really end.

This is amazing...

I'm actually posting twice in two days. I think the pigs may be flying outside.

Anyway this post actually has a reason - that doesn't mean I'm not going to ramble because I don't know how to stop myself most of the time. I'm going to start picking a card a day out of my favourite tarot and oracle decks to post on here. I'm hoping it will help me reconnect with the tarot because I haven't done any readings in forever. I feel bad for that, especially as I know certain of my decks are going to be very very grumpy with me (all of my decks have their own personality).

As well as that I'm thinking of posting some of my poetry and short stories. I'm not sure whether anyone will be interested though. I think it will help me focus on the things I need to do rather than wasting all my time doing absolutely nothing productive. I like being productive. I also may post some short stories I'm thinking of writing connected to my novels. Then I'll see if anyone is interested in the subject matter.

Right now I'm going to go and pick out some cards.